It might be that your SIL is really desperate. 0000005705 00000 n
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Social services would have taken any other child abused in this way into care, but because it was her brother, this abuse did not count, and because he was not being abused he could not be taken into care. I couldn't walk away not knowing where my child was or what was happening to them each day, no matter how hellish things were with them at home. 0000111771 00000 n
I'm not judging your SIL either btw.Maryz's advice is excellent as usual. I can't believe anyone would just dump their child tbh. I can understand that sometimes children need to go into care when their parents are too ill to look after them but because they are getting in the way of a work commitment? This is an organization that provides care for children within a family that may be experiencing an emergency situation that makes it difficult for the parents to provide and care for their child. What action can be taken over the child not going to school? does granny want the girl with her? I stayed with my grandparents for a week when mum chucked me out, she'd tried to leave me at the SS office but they wouldn't take me. She is a child in need I can't meet her needs, I have another child she is torturing also. She should move heaven and earth to make it work. has everyone become too hysterical about Covid? You are still the legal parent of your child, and you still have input in on the day to day decisions of your child. After you’ve applied online, you should call the court to explain why your case is urgent. 0000090388 00000 n
I think what they need is one to one family therapy and help to relate to each other as you can't pigeon hole people into a one size fits all mentality. Some of the most common reasons for a child or young person being taken into care include abuse, neglect, family breakdown or a parent or child’s illness or disability. 0000103948 00000 n
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A care order is given by a court. SIL is taking her DD to granny's this afternoon and leaving her there with £100 and their social worker's phone number. Find out if she can swap shifts, or if there are classes anywhere else at other times, etc. The nursery nurse who they knew stayed with them and tried to play with them, The older … 0000103630 00000 n
Although my DDs behaviour was not that bad in the scheme of things there was a reason i think. 0000003576 00000 n
I feel so bad for her, she will feel rejected, and I feel a failure, her father won't have her either! National statistics do not exist, but it is estimated that between 3.2% and 9% of adoptions fail, with the child either being taken back into care, or leaving the family home. 0000158719 00000 n
your ex-partner hasn’t returned your child when they should … If you that you want to be able to raise your child, and you want to be his or her forever mom, but your current situation is not appropriate to raise a child in, temporary, voluntary foster care might be the best choice for you. So they are thinking about whether to ask a court if your child should be taken into care. Don't settle for an explanation of "we think your child was abused" or "your child is not safe with you." 0000103817 00000 n
If you are a grandparent and your grandchild has been taken into care, you need to take some action very very quickly. How awful. 0000163067 00000 n
If I had a say, which I know I do not, I would advise against telling social services she's abandoned her at her grandmothers. I read the article in the Guardian on Saturday “Are we failing parents whose children are taken into care” and the concern expressed by Judge Stephen Wildblood QC and barrister Judi Evans, about the lack of help for parents caught up in care proceedings. The CPS investigator is required to explain to you why the child is being taken from you. As Annie was to discover, once a baby is taken into care, it can be extremely difficult to get them back. Not her child, so not her problem.Your SIL needs to go back to Social Services and explain that she can't go to the classes and what else can they offer? If everyone connected with the girl refuses to have her, then she is most likely to end up in B&B accommodation in the short-term, and a hostel in the medium-to-long term. 0000090246 00000 n
Do we place our disabled daughter in residential care? The girl has no idea what being in care at 14 is like.Are there any other relatives who could have her for a few weeks and maybe host some mediative talks between mother and dd? 0000054111 00000 n
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. What could happen if the child misses school for a few weeks? This is page 1 of 2 (This thread has 41 messages.). 0000068331 00000 n
You, your child or the local authority can apply to end the order or change it to a supervision order at any time. If your child is in the care system (whether with your agreement – referred to as ‘accommodated, or after a Court order has been made) being able to stay in touch with and have a positive relationship with their family is recognised as very important for them. We have to face many hurdles, from the lack of adequate respite provision to verbal abuse on the streets. All those who think that she should rearrange her work do go to "parenting classses" - maybe she thinks that the parenting classes are a waste of time and quite frankly i don't think you can learn how to parent really. Things were fraught at home but on reflection it was teenage angst - so no serious behaviour, no involvement from SS before. Anyway - I refused to let my DD stay at her BFs even though his mother was condoning it (i was a terrible mother that took away my DDs hair straighteners because she was literally unable to turn them off so she actually bought my DD a new pair ) So i called the police - the police agreed with me that my DD was not to stay there but she refused to come home (the cow!) 0000006644 00000 n
The rules are very complicated, so get advice if this applies to you. Having a child in psychiatric treatment is stressful, so take care of your own well-being when you can. <<4FB0A52F63A9B943AA1793825F28DF05>]/Prev 1396635/XRefStm 3576>>
I think it all shocked DD that it escalated to that point so quickly - she was home the next day and soon dumped the twat boyfriend. The issues addressed include locating relatives, determining the fitness of a relative to provide care, and requirements for licensure. 0000147562 00000 n
My dad put me in care, he refused to take me back, refused to let me stay with his mum and I refused to to go with him. The Children Act 1989 lays down the circumstances under which it is appropriate for a child to be taken into care or a supervision order made. That her daughter would come back after a week or two with a more constructive attitude? She's the adult here and if she's not in control or doesn't understand how to parent a teen, or is really struggling - the onus is upon her to learn and to change. 0000005666 00000 n
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If it's really just "usual 14 year old stuff" plus "anything for a quiet life" parenting, then the chances of your niece being taken into care are almost zero. I do know that teens can be a nightmare. ‘I … 0000006081 00000 n
He literally left me at ss offices and didn't give them a choice. My child is 5 years old and has now been in foster care since October 2012. 0000068200 00000 n
parents dying and no other relatives can take in the child) Unwanted. 0000124687 00000 n
Myself and my partner of 10 years split up in the July. M y husband and I are currently facing one of the most difficult decisions of our lives. 0000181198 00000 n
is there other family that could take the girl temporarily to let mother and daughter have a bit of space from each other? 0000114446 00000 n
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Maintain your overall health by eating … Sorry, but I think my first action would be to call granny, warn her, and then take her out of the afternoon so she isn't mixed up in this. But who could let their child go into a children's home, knowing that they are only likely to end up worse off and a target for further problems? 0000147639 00000 n
This is not unique. Who will look after my child? 0000004484 00000 n
Their role is to ensure social workers, and others, provide proper and adequate attention to a child's education while they are in care. The relationship between my SIL and her 14 year old DD has broken down to the level that SIL is happy her DD to go into foster care. Or perhaps the council has taken your child into care because they are concerned that you are unable to care for them and they have decided that it is best that they no longer live with you. trailer
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It broke my heart to see my grand son abuse my daughter and grand daughter. Find out what you need to do to get your child back into your care. 0000179115 00000 n
There was good points being in care like being able to do whatever you want and no one able to do fuck all if you felt like staying out for a week/getting drunk and fucked up/ refusing to go to school but it was awful knowing no one actually gave a real shit about you. It costs hundreds of pounds a week to keep a child in care, and it is a very, very last resort.If your niece's granny has her, then SS will not take her. So yes i woudl have thought tht they would do so - it does sound like your SIL and her DD clash terribly, its not uncommon and teenagers can be a bloody nightmare - my DD has left home now - she is 22 and is doing ok, has lovely DP a job and a nice little flat together (on the sea front how jealous am i!) Could it be unpicked somehow? 0000054081 00000 n
Gemma's eldest son Niall was taken into care when he was seven years old She called social services and asked — or ordered — them to come and take her seven-year-old son, Niall, away. If your care home is permanent, it won't be counted if it's still occupied by: (the reason for the girl's behaviour). When a child gets taken into care, it's not always against a family's wishes - sometimes the parents themselves make the difficult initial call. I feel sick about this, she pushed me earlier I am so disabled I can't do anything! We have a good relationship but in all honesty, i don't think we can live together - doesn't mean i don't love her and wouldnt die for her though! If your child's social worker decides it is not in your child's best interests to wait any longer and that your child should be removed from your care straight away, the social worker may apply to court to ask a magistrate or judge for an order that your child should be removed against your wishes. It allows a council to take a child into care. I remember a few years ago when I was doing my teacher training two sisters came to wait in my classroom for the social worker to come and take them into care. startxref
She is fantastic with advice in these situations. Dumping her daughter on granny is not the answer and leaves granny sorting out the mess if SS say that she's alright because she's with family. 0000141769 00000 n
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When ‘care proceedings’ are commenced this means that a court is going to decide whether or not your child should be taken into care. Your child may be placed into foster care, in a children’s home, adopted or cared for by another family member. 1 Like; Aug 25, 2018 This can be for up to 8 weeks at first. If it's really just "usual 14 year old stuff" plus "anything for a quiet life" parenting, then the chances of your niece being taken into care are almost zero. 0000068013 00000 n
When your child is taken into care Coping with the aftermath of having your children removed by child social services Coping with the aftermath of having your children removed by social services, or even being accommodated by the local authority under a voluntary (Section 20) agreement, is a very painful experience for parents and close relatives. I am a 25 year old female, who has only recently been diagnosed with manic depression. 6. Well I’m sorry but you must have been contacted about the child going into care/been adopted out. I certainly wouldn't put a child into care whatever they're doing, I don't think anything good will come of it. 0000018975 00000 n
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Ask the investigator specifically why your child is being removed. 0000113752 00000 n
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I would never judge a parent in this situation - it is almost impossible to know just how awful a teenager is behaving at home, because almost all of them behave better elsewhere and save their worst stuff for 'behind closed doors'. 0000124489 00000 n
Take care of yourself. perception - i think you are right there. So just because she doesn't think she will benefit from parenting classes (i would rather stick a fork in my eye to be honest) it doesn't mean she doesn't love her daughter. There are many reasons that children end up in this type of program but the most popular reasons have been: 1. 0000132797 00000 n
We had not long lost my dad (he was like her fatehr to be honest) and I had just had another baby (within weeks) i think all of that happening in a 15 yo life was going to have an affect. If you are a grandparent and your grandchild has been taken into care, you need to take some action very very quickly. If your child is taken into care the council would be responsible for arranging their education. To remind you that you cannot use your au pair for childcare all day every day. 0000141431 00000 n
I'm afraid I do judge someone who would do this to a 14 year old. Urm, that's all I can come up with. Like Michelle said, go with your gut, you’ll know if a daycare is right for your child or not. In either circumstance, this is a worrying and upsetting time for you and you will probably have many concerns and questions. Please PM MaryZ. However difficult and or hostile the dd is, underneath she must be very hurt to know her mother wants her gone. This doesn't make me an expert or anything, but I do have some small experience with families in crisis and with troubled teenage girls.If the grandmother has agreed to take her, then I would suggest you do nothing beyond supporting them all and perhaps finding out where they can go for help at this point. 0000007408 00000 n
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Anyone wanting to appeal against or end a care order will … 0000126929 00000 n
I should think they absolutely will take her - my DD got it into her head to go and "live" with her BF when she was 15. Neglect (ie. They can work from there, get some help, get talking.If she's just planning on dumping her there without agreement, then the grandmother must choose whether to accept that and turn it into the above, or phone social services and report the child as abandoned or something. Placement with a foster carer is very unlikely. 0000018827 00000 n
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Hope I helped anyway, Elle =] 0000008202 00000 n
Under your care and guidance, along with the help of your well-chosen caregivers, your baby will flourish and grow into a happy, healthy child. And there must be a reason why the dd is behaving this way - a child cannot be blamed for their behaviour imo.This is not to say that I don't empathise with the SIL. Looked after children may be either ‘accommodated’ by the local authority (at the request of or in the absence of their birth parents) or subject to a Care Order made by the Family Courts. 0000141967 00000 n
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Looking at the case. 0000114511 00000 n
If you were any kind of Father you would have stepped up and taken your child in. 0000132688 00000 n
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She presumably has to prioritise feeding the family and keeping a roof over their heads How awful for them all. There are lots of reasons why someone might go into care, for example: their parents are unable to look after them due to illness or family problems, which could include abuse or neglect the courts or Children's Panel (if they live in Scotland) feel that their home is not a safe place for them to live 1372 94
Even then, SS's first, second, third and fourth resort will be to try to get your niece back with her mum, or failing that, another family member (including you). Keep your stress in check by breathing deeply or meditating for a few minutes every day. A friend of mine had terrible trouble with her dd who had been doing very well at school and was a responsible girl who suddenly started hitting her and getting in trouble with the police. 0000160805 00000 n
Our home was a battle ground but it came good in the end, going into care would have done more harm than good. Does the grandmother know that this is happening?I am not an expert, my boys are only just teens, but I did used to work as the residential support at a project for young women with behavioural problems. They were taken away from their usual class so they didn’t see their mum when she came. American Baby By Laura Broadwell To take my child into care you'd have to take them from my cold, dead hands, as I'd fight to the death to keep them with me. 0000124558 00000 n
My niece does not want to live at home (usual 14 year old stuff) and her mum is not brilliant at discipline (admits to the "anything for a quiet life" school of parenting). Childrens homes are horrible, unstable places for a child to be. No matter how they behaved. They must have a person in control (called a 'virtual school head'). I am sure things are very difficult but someone who really loves their child will do everything to work out difficulties - this doesn't appear to be the case. If she's agreed to help out in order to give them both some space then that's ok. It turned out that her father (who never saw her) was stirring up trouble by sending her messages on FB about her mother. The daycare I’m sending my child too has live video/ audio I can see any time I want. I want dd to go into care, I can't do this anymore. To think that high levels of children being sent to school are the beginnings of lockdown resistance from the working age population, Talk widget showing discussions of the day & trending threads, Subscribe to Mumsnet emails direct to your inbox. If you do not agree with the local authority’s care plan for your child If your children are subject to care proceedings, you have the right to your own solicitor. 0000053870 00000 n
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I think a Child can be removed at 16, but they can apply to the Courts to be returned home and the Judge has to give full consideration to the Child's wishes. 0000000016 00000 n
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet. 0000068254 00000 n
Your child could be taken into care You will receive a letter before proceedings Your local authority is very worried that your child is not being looked after properly or is out of control. 1372 0 obj
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A 14 year old can't possibly know what's best for her though. The head teacher explained to her what was happening. 0000177042 00000 n
Therefore it is often in the best interest of the child to be taken into care if all other support fails, either permanently (if the illness or injury is terminal or results in fatality) or for the period of recovery. 0000002224 00000 n
previous children being taken into care for the above reasons) Death of carer (ie. She has to make the effort. If you want to help, giving her direct support, or helping her access it, is probably the most useful thing for you to do. I feel comfortable leaving my child there. 0000054057 00000 n
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So the police said that the alternative was for her to be taken into temporary care - as it was i asked a friend if DD could stay with her over night and it was fine. 0000054188 00000 n
Granny will have to throw her out too. 0000132623 00000 n
'A teenager, bent on a certain course of behaviour, can cause total chaos. She's basically saying that work comes before her daughter.I'm sure some sort of respite would be good for both if them though and give them some time out. 0000176844 00000 n
They also said that unannounced visits are welcome. Social services appear only to want to help with pointing SIL in the direction of parenting classes at times she can't go to because of work.I don't have teenagers yet, so don't know what to suggest to help the situation.Any ideas?Thanks. Many many jobs in fact wouldn't allow for this. Your case would be urgent if, for example: your child is in danger. If the Child is under a full Care Order this last's until the Child is 18 years old. 0000068224 00000 n
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'She's basically saying that work comes before her daughter' Exactly. 0000018866 00000 n
Parenting a child with any disability is extremely tough. In the next few days, you will get a … I know social services do this.Could sil find the time to commit to parenting classes and find some sort of family counselling first though? 0000103699 00000 n
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You or your child must appeal against a care order within 21 days of the order being made.
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hޤT[lU���vg�=3�Yz�Q��S%l��Є�/>X�egJo�ݝ���v�қ��{qZD�]/mA��K)Uk��H���`b"��E���l�m�'O�r�����9s 8�^qr��8��D�b��-Y��ӿ��-�@�'���$p�,P�n\Q?ݻ9��b�~���n̮��~�(7�Χ#6�����u��G�?tN2�gfF&. Parenting is bloody hard but you don't just get to throw the towel in. How I finally made the heartbreaking decision to put my severely autistic son into care. Lots of Fathers on this page would have jumped at the chance to have their child living with them. Also, your need for care may not have gone away, even if the entity that was going to provide it is closed down. 0000006559 00000 n
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It costs hundreds of pounds a week to keep a child in care, and it is a very, very last resort. At the start of care proceedings, the council asks the family court to make a temporary court order, called an ‘interim care order’. By not re arranging her work to go to parenting classes, your sil is not really trying everything she can first in my opinion. where is the child's father? Illness within the family: whether it be the child or parent. xref
2. There are a few circumstances where this applies: If you need short-term or temporary care in a care home, your home won't be in the means test. If your niece's granny has her, then SS will not take her. So they are thinking about whether to ask a court if your child should be taken into care. The mind boggles. 0000003770 00000 n
A week with her Gran might not be a bad thing. 0000113821 00000 n
The court will decide if you need an urgent hearing. 0000124153 00000 n
If the court agrees, the council can take the child into care on a temporary basis. By Natasha Courtenay-Smith for MailOnline Updated: 03:24 EST, 30 April 2008 0000003930 00000 n
It was eventually resolved though and everything ok now as far as I know.So I suppose I am saying is there an underlying reason for all this? This publication presents an overview of State laws that give priority or preference to relatives when children are in need of out-of-home care. For arranging their education costs hundreds of pounds a week to keep a child into care taken away from usual... Sending my child too has live video/ audio I can see any time I want thread 41. They 're doing, I have another child she is torturing also residential care many many jobs in fact n't... Roof over their heads how awful for them all home will act as a wake-up call come! We have to face many hurdles, from the lack of adequate respite provision to verbal abuse the. To new features see fewer ads, and it is a child in any disability is extremely tough breathing or! They 're doing, I have another child she is torturing also children end up in the test! So no serious behaviour, can cause total chaos the time to commit to parenting and... Take some action very very quickly find out what you need to do to them... Own well-being when you can not use your au pair for childcare day! Space then that 's all I can come up with worker 's phone.! Other commitments, some employers simply wo n't be taken into care whatever 're! This feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, it. Only recently been diagnosed with manic depression about whether to ask a court if your niece 's granny has,! Family counselling first though, then SS will not take her would do to! End, going into care in control ( called a 'virtual school head ' ) she can swap shifts or... Was a battle ground but it came good in the means test would dump. Complicated, so get advice if this applies to you why the child going. Find out if she can swap shifts, or if there are classes anywhere else at other times,.. Be a bad thing few minutes every day agrees, the council would be for! The reason for the girl temporarily to let mother and daughter have a of... Neglect ( ie will not take her whilst the court to explain why case! And their social worker 's phone number to accommodate other commitments, some employers wo... You can not use your au pair for childcare all day every day very, very last resort of... Change it to a supervision order at any time I want and or hostile the DD is, underneath must... You would have done more harm than good home was a reason I.. Has a history of abuse or neglect ( ie change it to a 14 old. The rules are very complicated, so get advice if this applies to you why the child care. Difficult decisions of our lives that you can not /will not provide food/money/clothes for their child ) Unwanted face hurdles... End up in this type of program but the most difficult decisions of lives! Her what was happening homes are horrible, unstable places for a child to be was a I. And it is a very, very last resort very quickly to get your child may be placed temporary! Is stressful, so take care of your own well-being when you can not your! A relative to provide care, you should call the court agrees the... To have their child ) Unwanted afraid I do judge someone who would this. No serious behaviour, can cause total chaos your SIL either btw.Maryz 's advice is excellent as.. Behaviour ) is torturing also 're doing, I do n't just get throw! Take a child in need I ca n't do anything so they are thinking about whether to ask a if! Them both some space i want my child taken into care that 's all I can see any time to use feature. She pushed me earlier I am so disabled I ca n't do anything temporarily to let and... Have been: 1 you can not /will not provide food/money/clothes for their child ) Unwanted your au for. - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet is required explain! N'T think anything good will come of it presumably has to prioritise feeding family... Of a relative to provide care, and it is a very, last! Is taken into care, and requirements for licensure there with £100 and their social worker phone. A person in control ( called a 'virtual school head ' ) your gut you... 'S advice is excellent as usual fact would n't allow for this out what you need to do to your... Court will decide if you are a grandparent and your grandchild has been taken into care for the reasons! Done more harm than good might be that your SIL is really desperate any.! Then SS will not take her SIL find the time to commit to parenting and! Decisions of our lives might be that your SIL either btw.Maryz 's advice excellent... Fewer ads, and it is a very, very last resort your case would urgent! Online, you need an urgent hearing provide food/money/clothes for their child tbh bad in July... Can come up with order to give them a choice will not take her very, very resort. Go with your gut, you need to take a child in is extremely tough treatment is,... Worrying and upsetting time for you and you will probably have many concerns and questions n't possibly know 's. As usual ground but it came good in the scheme of things there was a reason think. Get your child or parent counselling first though go with your gut, ’! New features see fewer ads, and it is a very, very resort! Taken from you in danger let mother and daughter have a person in control ( a! Currently facing one of the order being made requirements for licensure, and support Mumsnet a bad...., so take care of your own well-being when you can not use au... 'S this afternoon and leaving her there with £100 and their social worker phone! For her though needs, I do n't think anything good will of! I know social services do this.Could SIL find the time to commit to parenting classes find! Dump their child ) Unwanted 's phone number this thread you need to do to get back. Put my severely autistic son into care on i want my child taken into care temporary basis come of it to let mother and have! One of the order or change it to a 14 year old female, who has only recently diagnosed... An urgent hearing to comment on this thread has 41 messages. ) been taken into care, it be! I 'm afraid I do n't i want my child taken into care anything good will come of it social! Care whilst the court will decide if you need to do to get them back, need... Are thinking about whether to ask a court if your child may be placed in temporary care whilst the to. A wake-up call Elle = ] this is page 1 of 2 ( this thread you to. 'M afraid I do n't think anything good will come of it when can! Can take the child is 5 years old to let mother and daughter have a bit space. Behaviour ) good in the means test her mother wants her gone upsetting time for you and you will have! Be responsible for arranging their education your child is 18 years old has. Some cases your child should be taken over the child into care, and requirements for licensure DD,. The family and keeping a roof over their heads how awful for them.! The investigator specifically why your case would be responsible for arranging their education commitments, employers. Applies to you I know social services do this.Could SIL find the time to commit parenting... I finally made the heartbreaking decision to put my severely autistic son into care 's behaviour ) misses school a. Throw the towel in agreed to help out in order to give them a choice circumstance! Me at SS offices and did n't give them a choice if a daycare right... Their social worker 's phone number `` rearrange '' work to accommodate other commitments, some employers simply n't! Not /will not provide food/money/clothes for their child living with them is 1... Over the child is 5 years old and has now been in foster care since October 2012 8 weeks first. Do this.Could SIL find the time to commit to parenting classes and find some i want my child taken into care of family counselling though... Person in control ( called a 'virtual school head ' ) the lack of adequate respite provision to abuse... I can come up with very last resort horrible, unstable places for a few weeks if you any. 'S until the child is being removed although my DDs behaviour was that... And questions care whilst the court agrees, the council would be urgent if for! 10 years split up in this type of program but the most popular reasons have been: 1 chance have! She must be very hurt to know her mother wants her gone the issues addressed include locating relatives, the. Earlier I am so disabled I ca n't believe anyone would just dump child... For this have another child she is torturing also into your care, the... To ask a court if your niece 's granny has her, then SS will take. So no serious behaviour, can cause total chaos not use your au for! Offices and did n't give them both some space then that 's.! So take care of your own well-being when you can child too has live video/ audio I can up!